God?

They say that God never gives you more than you can handle, my question for Him is: Just exactly how strong do you think I am?

My Grandparents were killed in a car accident yesterday morning. They were rear-ended driving a Gator down their road by a teenager speeding and not paying attention. My Grandfather was killed instantly and my Grandmother died a few hours later at the hospital. I know that after 57 years of marriage, spending even 1 day apart would have killed the other so I am glad that God chose to take them together. At 81 and 82 they were for all intents and purposes in great shape. They never drove more than an hour away from home but had no problem traveling. In September they were lucky enough to have come by my house, see where I worked and enjoy an evening in Branson with me. I still have the joke book and ticket stub from Grandpa on my desk at work. We were also lucky enough to have them at my brother's wedding just last month. I will always remember my Grandparents for being the most honest people and for loving me no matter what.

End of the World?

This morning at 9:27 a.m. my Grandparents were killed in a car wreck. They were rear-ended and than ran over in my Grandpas new gator by a 16 year old kid driving too fast down a country road. Grandpa had just purchased it two weeks ago and loved it, he finally convinced my Grandma to go on a ride with him this morning before church. Grandpa died at the scene and my Grandmother passed away shortly afterwards at the hospital. He was 81, she was 82. They had lived a long full life with 7 kids and more grandkids than I could count. They were alive long enough to see a great-grandson born last April and several grandkids weddings. I last saw them less than a month ago at my Brother's wedding and they were in great health. When my mom called to tell me the news this morning, I immediatly assumed she was calling to say that her mother had died. My mom's mother is in much worse health shape and could very well die any day now in her sleep, at 88 it's almost expected. To live until you are in your 80's and than die in a car crash almost shows just how quickly life can be taken away from you.

Just last year my Aunt got their photos taken professionally and we all got a copy of it for X-mas. I laughed at the gift than but now am so grateful for it, I had it framed at set it on my mantel when I got it and can now appreciate the gift. I have some fond memories of my Grandparents and as when all people die, I wish I had spent more time with them, wrote and called them more often but I know that they loved me and I loved them too.

Friendships Ending??

At what point in your life do you give up on a Friendship? I have a friend from HS who was my "best" friend for 2 years that has asked me to be in her wedding this summer, as her maid of honor. We have only talked to each other if it has involved her wedding for the last 2 years. I know that if she asked me to day to be her maid of honor I would decline but 2 years ago we were still friends. I have only seen her 3 or 4 times in the last 6 years. I hate the guy she is marrying, he has beat her twice, been divorced twice, has a daughter from a previous marriage, has declared bankruptcy, is 6 years older than her etc. I am dreading her wedding, the whole experience makes me just want to call her and drop out. I've already bought my $170 dress that I look TERRIBLE in, its super low cut and will expose a nipple at some point in the night...and the $40 stripper heels to match it, 4" platform glittered silver heels. I am skipping her bridal shower, the Sunday after my brothers wedding 4 hours away from Springfield so I can't justify a 8 hour drive in 1 day for 3 hours of shower? Her bachlorette party is in Memphis for 1 weekend, 2 nights 7 hours away on a weekend I'm suppose to work the Saturday of so I don't know if I will even be able to make that. Her wedding is in STL so I will have to take a Friday, at least afternoon, off to get to the rehersal in time. The whole thing seems like a huge drain on me, I don't associate with HS anymore and don't want to. The few times I have seen her in the past few years or any conversations have all involved what has happened in HS or to people we know from HS, she is absolutely stuck in the past and I have completely moved forward. I have an entire life seperate from my past, I've grown up and moved on. I just feel like she is a friend from a lifetime ago. I'm not asking her to stand next to me for my wedding, I'm not even sure I'll invite her to the wedding or the reception... I truly feel like she is no longer a friend and I'm not sure how I go about this all, do I pretend everything is great and stand up next to her at her wedding supporting a wedding I don't believe in for a girl I don't even know anymore or do I just fess up to how I feel now and how ridiculous I feel to be the maid of honor in a wedding for a girl I don't feel like I'm friends with anymore. I feel like the wedding is all that matters to her and she doesn't care about me anymore either. I know that if I step down, our friendship will be over. I hate to burn a bridge but if the bridge is already falling apart does burning it really cause much damange?

Wedding Crazy

I have never been in a wedding before. This year I will be in THREE and I have another one coming up in May 2012. Is this a sign that I'm getting old? ABSOLUTELY! My best friend for life just announced her engagement today and there isnt a person I could be happier for. She has been my neighbor, dance partner, best friend, classmate, etc. for 23 years. We have gone to the same church, same school, same dance class together. We have spent months not speaking because of busy lives but regardless of how long we go without talking or what happens whenever we do pick up the phone to talk to each other, it's like things never changed. We still walk into each others houses like we live there, we can tell each other anything and not have to worry about making the person mad. We are a set of people that have no secrets and a strange bond by the fact that we are very similar. Her mother is my confirmation sponsor, my mom is hers, I am her sons Godmother and she will be mine when I have kids. She is my maid-of-honor and I will be hers. It's a true friendship and whenever I read things about "the sister I never had" or "true friendships last forever" I know that she is my true friend. I know that without a doubt in 20 years we will still be doing wine night via skype because no matter how far apart we live from each other or how often we don't get to talk to each other, we will be best friends forever.

Return

I'm thinking about making a comeback. I really do like to write and I don't even care if anyone reads it I completely understand if no one does, I'm not the best writter. I'M GETTING MARRIED! In exactly 191 days I will be agreeing to spend the rest of my life with one man. The idea freaks me out at times and than at other times I wonder what exactly will be changing.

Big Girl Job

Friday I found out that I got a big girl job. 9-6 mon-fri at The Carpet Shoppe as a General Staff Assistant, everyone elses bitch! I get to work with builders and doing some interior design color work which is similar to Fritz Designs work. I know I won't love it like I did Fritz, I have to dress up :( and its a sorta stuffy enviroment with lots of people much older than me but it pays really well and has a regular schedule plus somewhat relates to my degree so I am happy. I start in 1-2 weeks, after I talk to my A.O. job about when I can change my hours. I'm not fully qutting A.O. because I do love working there, planning on asking to work 10 hours a week, couple of nights a week or a single weekend day. I am looking forward to the transition and have to do some major clothing shopping to prepare!

8 months

8 months ago I lost my job. Today I started work at my new job, as a Job Coach with disabled adults. Its only PRN (per request needed) so anywhere from 0-40 hours a week. I will be working 16 hours this week, all doing training. When/if I start working with clients, it will be strange house. Nights/weekends and never a normal or regular schedule. I am so happy to have a job but already know this is only temporary and I will continue looking for a full-time office setting job with 40 hours and a 9-5 schedule.