Life

I have always wondered why things end up the way they do. How much control do we actually have on our own lives and how much of that is already predetermined?? I remember reading a book my Freshman year (Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld) but there was a quote in the book along the lines of some people come into our lives to be our best friends and change our worlds while others will be used to prepare us for our future friendships. At the time my roommate asked me if I was her best friend or just someone helping her to prepare, I laughed and said of course she was my best friend. To those of you who have known me for a while, you know that she was indeed the later of my friendships in the end. I find myself 4 years later looking back on our friendship and wondering if things were meant to end up this way. I ended up being friends with my roommate because we had the same birthday and she introduced me to my boyfriend of almost 4 years. My roommate and I had a terrible ending to a friendship which resulted in her breaking up with her boyfriend of over 5 years and me finding the love of my life. I really wish I could find that quote again and maybe even re-read the book.
It just left me wondering how she is doing now and if we could ever be friends again. I know we could never be that close again, I wouldn't even imagine it because honestly she hurt me in ways unimaginable but another part of me wonders why things ended? Why things ever really ended?